(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not

>> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ;)

A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't

After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary

An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire hius work

As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard

Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife

Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters

Coffee, Chocolate, Men - some things are just better rich

Damn right I'm good in bed i can sleep for hours!

Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... Where the heck is my ceiling!

If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later